Monday, May 20, 2013

If you don't do kids, you don't do me!

Heyyyyy! I hope everyone is doing well. I had a good weekend but am currently tired. Mondays are my early days when I get in the office around 6:30am. No complaints though; I’m feeling great inside! I had a good weekend.

This weekend was productive in terms of the BABY process. I finally finished my baby registry at Target and I did some spring cleaning and got rid of a lot of stuff in my room to start to make room for the babes. I also found 5 German childrens books at thrift stores, which I’m totally excited about. That ups my count to 7 books. I registered for my First Aid and CPR classes. I’m also going to be registering for swim classes this week. I’m not a great swimmer but want to improve for the sake of my kids just in case anything happens. I guess it is true what they say… your kids make you a better person and stretch you in ways you never thought. It is just funny that it is already happening and they aren’t even here yet. Speaking of the babes’ already present effect, my mom now likes to report to me the twins that she sees as well as any LGBT parents she sees while she is out and about! Gotta love Mom for that!

Soooo, I’ve been dating a guy named Darin for about 2-3 weeks now. He is a high school photography teacher and he is nice guy. We have had good times together . I hadn’t told him about the babies yet and I’m actually glad I didn’t. In our last date on Friday, he made an off-hand comment that he is not the biggest fan of kids. At that point, I knew not much would come of our relationship. I have now vowed to tell people more upfront where I am with the process and having children.

With Love,

Monday, May 13, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

On Friday, I finally finished my Baby Registry at Target with my sister Cyncere. We had a ton of fun with that scanner as you can see below.

I actually thought we were going to go crazy with the scanner and scan everything but we were quite disciplined. Thank goodness for lists and sticking to them. In the pictures you will see my Baby Bible Binder, that has all of my baby information, plans, calendars, lists, etc. I never do anything baby-related without it. I have a few twin related items to include in the list and then I will be completely done with that.

After that, I went to the movies and saw The Great Gatsby with Leo DiCaprio. I usually don’t go to the movies because in my opinion it is sooo over-priced but I bit the bullet to see this movie. I guess Leo still has that effect on me. I really enjoyed the movie and the soundtrack. It had so many funny one-liners! If you aren’t into longer (2.5 hour) love stories, I don’t think you should see it, but I’m a big ol’ sucker for a romance!

Saturday I woke up early (6am) drove up to Sacramento to ride with some of my Fedex Aids Lifecycle teammates. We went 70 miles which is a distance I have gone before, but this time, it took a lot out of me. I think it was because it was 90 degrees outside. Needless to say, I got home around 5-6pm and passed out until midnight. I hate waking up at that time and roaming around the house like a zombie, incapable of going back to sleep. I finally got back to bed around 4pm. Although the ride was harder for me this past weekend, I can’t help but feel excited about this ride since it is only 3 weeks away. I’m most excited about completing the journey but also about not having to train and getting my weekends back. =)

Yesterday was Mother’s Day so I just wanted to recognize all the amazing mothers out there, including some of those LGBT parents, who at times must play both mother and father. I was tickled but also touched yesterday as I received many messages wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day. It was unexpected, but I must admit, deep down inside it felt good. It felt good because even though my children aren’t in this world yet, I was already being recognized in the very special VIP club called parenthood.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Where are my (3-D) Glasses?

Last Friday I received the following email:

Dear Anwar,

Greetings from SCI Healthcare..!!!

We hope you are doing well.
We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done a level II & 3D scan for L.
Please find attached herewith her scan reports.
We are pleased to let you know that she is doing perfectly fine and babies are growing well.

Our obstetrician team has reviewed the reports and noted that everything is fine with her and her pregnancy.Dr. Jolly has also captured some of 3D images of babies.We are sure that you will like the same. You can see babies' eyes, nose, lips clearly.

Her next scan will be done within one month.
We will keep you updated with her further progress and new status.

With Regards,

Wow… just wow! This stuff is crazy! I can’t believe how big and developed they are! Although the scans are a bit muddled (probably realistic to what is going on in womb), I am so happy that the clinic sent them. The fun part is going through this process with my Mom and seeing and hearing her amazement on how far technology has advanced since she gave birth to her children.

It is truly amazing. She seems to think the top 3-D scan is of a boy and the bottom scan is of a girl just given their facial features and how pronounced they are. I can see it but still not completely sure.

At the beginning of the pregnancy I wanted to know the gender(s) so badly, but at this point, I feel like I can definitely wait until they are born. I guess the more people ask about the genders (which they ask anytime I talk about this process/journey) the more I want to wait. I don’t really subscribe the pink for girls and blue for boys mentality. I’m not trying to be an ultra liberal here, but I just don’t subscribe to the gender bias/conformity/constructs that is pushed in our society. Not knowing the genders, I’m hoping will deter people from buying pink and blue things for the babes! We will see, though! Ok, I’m off my soapbox.

This weekend I was able to read a significant part of the book Juggling Twins, which I love. My favorite ideas I got from the book so far are:

1) Everyone brings diapers to the Baby Showers since they never expire and because you can never have enough, especially with twins. These will be so useful in the first 6 months!

2) The prioritized A list of the very necessary baby furniture and supplies to have in the first 3 months.

3) It was also refreshing to hear that it is ok to receive hand-me-downs on some things except for Baby Bottles and Car Seats. I was struggling with this question but reading the authors thoughts gave me some perspective on it all.

This past week I have also completed my research on potential pediatricians and finalized 3 potential pediatricians. Now I just have to set up appointments and have an interview with each one of them. My older sister has been pushing this since she found out that I was pregnant so she will be happy to hear that I have actually listened to her (it doesn’t happen often). One of the pediatricians is a Spelman graduate (alma mater of my sister Cyncere) so I’m leaning towards her but we will see how the interviews will go.

All of the above things have gotten me so excited about the babes.
I’m kinda a big bundle of joy these days.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Halftime rest!

Last Friday, I sat my close colleagues down and let them know about the surrogacy and baby journey I was embarking on. I’m generally a very private person at work and separate professional and personal but I thought I owed it to them to let them know that they definitely would not have me for 3 months and then at a limited capacity for another couple of months. Of course they were shocked but very happy for me. Part of me thinks that they were relieved to know that I wasn’t leaving the company (since we are already understaffed). They promised to keep it hush hush until I was ready to tell everyone at work, which I was happy to hear. Since I’ve told them, they have been really cool about giving me advice in terms of the babies and my life now (aka do whatever you have ever wanted to do NOW). Got it!

I finally chatted with HR and I will be taking the 12 weeks FMLA and will be compensated for 6 of those weeks. That is much better than I imagined, since I budgeted for no compensation in those three months. I love being from and living in California. Nothing like it…!

This past weekend, I decided to take a break from riding. I just wanted to chill out and relax. I had been going pretty hard with work and just life in general and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Instead of riding, I spent time with friends, went to the ballet, and chilled at Dolores Park with my sister and dogs. If I really think about it, I think I have been trying to take advantage of the opportunities and activities presented before me, so I can say that I have lived my life. I have rarely said no to anything. As my BFF told me, “it is ok to say yes to rest!” . I wholeheartedly agree.

Call it the type A in me, but this week I have gotten my energy back.. my pep in my step. I have been more focused on getting things done, so similar to my time when I was applying to business school, I have designated a couple of hours every night to handle my business (i.e. non-profit board responsibilities, baby research & prep, self-improvement, etc.). I do have to say that this shift has helped and energized me.