Jumping Out of a Plane

On Saturday I rode my bike 60 miles in the North Bay of SF with my friend Kevin. We went through major climbs and made a few stops which enabled us to get done by 2pm. I was so happy to have some Saturday to enjoy. Like every week for the past 4, I fell once trying to stop and get out of my clips. It is always a bit embarrassing, but apparently everybody does it while just learning so I don’t feel too bad about it. The great thing about my falls are definitely the love I get when I return home. I get the extra doggie voodoo from Kaiser and Twix. They licked my wounds to the point where they disappeared and I had sign of injury. Although it sounds disgusting, I think it is the sweetest thing ever!


On Sunday, my sister and I went skydiving. It was truly an amazing and empowering experience. I really didn’t freak out at all until I was at the edge of the plane about the fall/drop/jump. My tandem expert partner’s name was Seva and he was from the Ukraine. Cyncere’s partner was a guy from Israel. The guys were super nice and friendly. I guess we felt indebted to them for having our lives in their hands and making sure we were alive at the end. We decided to tip them for their services. Funny enough, in terms of the actual experience, I thought it was going to be like the Freefall ride at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but instead I actually felt like I was floating. Definitely a very special moment for both Cyncere and myself. I am so happy we were able to do it.

After the skydiving, I was extra tired. Chalk it up to the 3+ hours of driving to get to and from the skydiving location, or the adrenaline high and low, or the fact that all of my surrounding co-workers have been feeling under the weather. I WAS BEAT! Sunday night and Monday night I slept almost 12 hours each. I haven’t done that since university. =)

The good thing about resting and taking it easy the last couple of days has been being able to read up on baby stuff and catch up on some trashy TV.

Last Friday, I was able to tell my surrogacy journey story to a LGBT couple that is going to get married in July. As I was talking about my journey, it got me all excited again. I, of course, sang the praises of Indian Surrogacy and especially SCI as a partner clinic. I was saddened to also talk about the new laws that were enacted. It was disappointing to have gotten them excited about a potential way to have kids but to have their excitement diminished once they learned that they could not start the process immediately. I hope that the laws will be changed soon so that potential amazing intended parents will have the opportunity to fulfill their dreams regardless of one’s ‘status’. =)

Anyway, on a more positive note, I was reading an article on Yahoo  about 8 ways how to be happy and being a parent was one of those things! It made me smile... here's the link for those interested:
http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/how-to-be-happy--8-ways-to-feel-better-about-everything-205007297.html

Tall, Skinny Model

Yay! New communication from SCI.


Dear Anwar,

Greetings from SCI Healthcare !!
We hope this e-mail finds you well.
We would like to inform you that we have done L's scan as per our schedule.

Kindly find attached herewith the reports for the same.
We are happy to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed her reports and noted that everything is fine with the same.

As per our Obstetrician's advise, L is doing fine and everything is on track with her pregnancy.
Please note that her next scan will be done within one month.

We will get back to you soon with further updates.

With Best Regards,
Lalit

Ohhh how I’ve waited for this day for the past month. It is always great to hear such great news. They are currently at 17 weeks and relatively the same size, although twin2 has a femur length of 26mm (89th percentile) and an abdominal circumference of 109mm (21% percentile). This baby might be a tall, skinny model, hahahah. On a serious note, I am just happy that they are healthy. Some of the scan angles are a bit odd because you can't see the full body in some of them, but here ya go anyway:

Today I finally spoke to my HR Director about potentially taking paternity leave. She seemed very open and told me she would do more research on the matter. I guess I lucked out because California has the most open policies about taking leave (for mother AND father). Now, for sure I will be getting at least 6 weeks paid out of the 12 weeks FMLA leave. This is great news. I’m hoping that my company will be able to figure out more/different/new ways to support my leave. Overall, a really great conversation and I left feeling supported and better about taking my paternity leave.

Great news! Yesterday I made my AIDS Lifecycle Fundraising Goal of $3K! What amazing support I have received from my family and friends. All of the annoying Facebook posts I have made have actually paid off! It has been such a humbling experience. I actually pride myself on not really asking for help, but being forced to do so, has really reinforced the amazing generosity of people in my life. I still have 45 days to fundraise so I think I am going to try to get to $5K! If you do you get a special $5k fundraising shirt which only a select few actually have! New goal to achieve… yay!

Tonight, I'm having dinner with some friends of mine who are getting married in Puerto Vallarta in July, which coincidentally is my Babymoon. They are also interested in having a baby and so I will be chatting about my journey and hopefully help them navigate the crazy waters of LGBT baby-making. I'm excited for them.

Oma Needs a New Phone Background Pic!

I know I haven’t blogged in a while. I had a crazy week last week at work. It was end of the month and things got a bit hectic, coupled with the fact that I had something to do after work every night last week. Craziness! I survived the week though so I am above water at the moment.

On Wednesday, I was able to go to a LGBT Prospective Parent Potluck through the organization Our Family Coalition (God, I love living in the Bay Area). It was informative and it was just great to be in a space of LGBT parents. I got a lot of great information about resources in the area after the babies come as well as childcare options (which is a major focus at the moment). All in all, I was glad that I went to the event. Since I am further along in the process, I do believe I will be going to this group called “Mamas and Papas”.


One thing that stuck out to me that night was talking to the Program Coordinator. She was informing me that the biggest question that LGBT parents pose after having children was, “Where are all of my friends who said they would be there and support me when I had children”. I have read this before so I have mentally prepared myself for not much help from many of my gay friends here in the Bay Area. I am just thankful that my sister and Mom will be with me to help me. So thankful.

On Thursday, I was able to meet up with a friend from business school for her birthday. She had just moved with her partner and 2 year-old son from Australia. She is super excited about me having twins and has named herself top of the twin babysitting list! So funny! Her enthusiasm is totally infectious! When she told the group of people at her party about my baby news, the women were totally excited and the straight guys were totally ‘already’ overwhelmed. I thought that was sooooo funny!

This weekend, my older sister told her daughters (11 and 9 years-old) that they would be getting cousins soon. I got a call immediately from them immediately wanting to know their names. I still must call nieces back, but the excitement of their voices really warmed my heart. Also, since I brought back Indian jewelry and goodies for their mother, they have been so infatuated with the Indian culture. I can’t wait until I tell them that the babies are currently in India being well taken care of. =)

I am expecting a new report from the clinic by the end of the week. I can’t wait to see the scans. My Mom, who will be called 'Oma' (=Grandma in German) by the kids, can’t either since she has made her phone background the pic of the latest baby scans! The second trimester month-long waiting has kinda been killing me. =)

I'm Having Twins, y'all!

Twenty fingers, Twenty toes
Plenty of work, heaven knows!
Four little arms to hold tight.
Four little cheeks to kiss night-night.

I'm having twins, y'all!
(Due Date: mid-Sept.)

That was my Facebook post this week as I revealed the pregnancy to the world. It was really amazing to get so much love from people! Here are just some of the messages!

• Califia D, Brian P. D, Louisa F and 74 others like this.
• Erica M BEST DADDY EVAH!

  Miki O yey!!!
• Patrick C Congrats. Enjoy it.

  Cheryl G Amazing!! Bye bye sleep and disposable income!

  Rhea T Absolutely thrilled for you!!!

  Karesha M YAY!!!!! So happy for you!!

  Carla F Wow...congrats!
• Alissa M Congrats!!

  Yui S It's official. Twinsies!!

  Lonnie W Congrats Anwar!! I know you will be an amazing parent.

  Giulia M Twinsies for twinsie!!

  Ricardo F Are you going to be a father? Tell me everything about it!!!

  Ritija G What wonderful news, congratulations! Best wishes, looking forward to some adorable baby pictures in the Fall!

  Christopher R CONGRATS!!!!!!!

  Ramadan A Wow, awesome! Guess who has been keeping secrets.
• Sora A Congrats Anwar you're going to be exhausted but you'll love it

  Peter M Awesome!! So excited for you!

  Rubina Z Anwar, congrats! You're in for more than you realize but it will be worth every second.

  Detroit R Bells yea! Congrats my friend!

  
  

  

  Anwar White Thank you everyone for the encouraging words. I am over the moon and can't wait for the jelly beans to come!

   

  Nothing but love, love, love.

  You never know how people are going to react since everything in this process is a little... let's say.... different! People were so super supportive, it was AWESOME! I even had friends tell me that they are going to be sending me all their baby books!

  
  

  The thing that touched me the most this week was chatting with a friend who is in a relationship that she really doesn't want to be in but feels she needs to settle because of her age and because she wants kids soon. She told me that hearing about my process has inspired and encouraged her to move forward and get past her fears. WOW! 

  
  I also chatted with another female friend who cannot have children and hearing my story inspired her as well to look into Indian surrogacy. Honestly, in the last week, I feel like I have been an ambassador to Indian Surrogacy in general and specifically my partner clinic SCI Healthcare, as I have done nothing but sing their praises!

   

  Next step now..... The Workplace reveal! =)

  
  

  -A

  
  

Mariah, JLo, Ricky Martin, and Me

Friday was a very productive day in terms of baby research. I spent most of the day on www.thebump.com going over Baby 101 things as well as Baby Supply Lists. I also printed out sleep, input/output, and vaccine trackers. It is a great website and encourage all of my fellow intended parents to check it out. This week, I have planned to tell the world via Facebook about the twins and create my baby registry. I have decided not show any scans because 1) I don’t wanna be ‘that parent’ and 2) I don’t wanna be ‘that parent’. =) I’m thinking I will post a little poem about twins or refer to my divas who have had twins before me… Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, and Ricky Martin. I know for a fact that the comments will be quite interesting; most people will want to know the dying question… HOW!?!


Anyway, after Cyncere and I pigged out on Hometown Buffet we were so stuffed, we passed out. I, like the Walking Dead zombie that I am, woke up at 3 in the morning and decided to look up personality kabalarian traits from first names of the kids. I will just say that I have my girls names are set but my boys names are not as set I as I would like them. Most omens and signs point to a certain name while Cyncere and myself love love love the other name. This is why I needed to look up, to get more guidance on which name I should choose. It turns out the ‘omen’ name belongs to an aggressive, rambunctious person who hates authority, whereas the other name (which I learned is traditionally female) defines a person who is a driven perfectionist who is on the materialistic side. Yikes!

Saturday I woke up early (around 6am) and drove to Sacramento to ride bikes with my friend Kevin and our FedEx teammate Louis. Kevin is the amazingly generous person who has enabled me to do the AIDS Lifecycle by loaning me a bike, clothes, gear, the works! We ended up doing 70 miles which is the longest ride I’ve been on to date. It was also fantastic practice because that was a typical daily distance for the 7-day ride event. I felt great doing it and surprisingly was too sore, just my butt bone. After the ride, the guys said I was ready for the ride and could do it tomorrow if I wanted to. That was an amazing vote of confidence and made me feel pretty ready! I can’t wait to ride out next weekend! Ohhhh MMMMM GGG, I almost forgot to tell you…. Saturday was the first ride I did with clips and biking shoes. Basically clips lock your shoe to the pedal and, in essence, make you a much more efficient rider. It takes time to get used to them because you have to have a certain technique to unlock yourself from the bike or you will tumble over while trying to stop. I will just say this…. I only fell once, but screamed like I was in a SCREAM movie while falling all the way to the ground. Can you say embarrassing??? The funny thing is that that experience weirdly made me more comfortable with the guys I was riding with and I was able to smile/laugh about it afterward.
Kevin and Me:

It rained for most of Sunday so Cyncere and I got some take out for Easter and watched a marathon of Ally McBeal all Sunday! It was the perfect relaxing day after the strenuous ride the day before. Tomorrow I should hear from the clinic about how the babies are doing (I don’t know if they are jelly beans anymore). I’m excited to see how big they have grown and if one twin is significantly larger than the other which is the case for many twins. Fingers crossed.



-A

42 Things that change when you have a baby

I got this article from babycenter.com; it made me smile: http://www.babycenter.com/0_forty-two-things-that-change-when-you-have-a-baby_1452535.bc?bclink=text&scid=preg_2_20130314:4&pe=MlVEYzNhZXwyMDEzMDMxNA..

Forty-two things that change when you have a baby


by Rebecca Woolf

Last updated: February 2012

What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be: What doesn't change?

Here, you can read writer and mom Rebecca Woolf's most notable post-baby observations. Then you can scroll down to read our favorite comments from readers about how their babies changed their lives.
What I love most about parenthood

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. [See a reader's perspective in #37, below.]

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

And from our readers:

16. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." — Ashley's mom

17. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth." — Anonymous

18. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte

19. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom

20. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers." — Roxanne

21. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." — Kellye

22. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous

23. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having." — Brenda

24. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom

25. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule." — Thomas' mom

26. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom

27. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a dog." — Kara

[Many readers begged to differ, saying things like, " I disagree with number 27. My dogs are my additional children," "Nothing about previous babies, whether two- or four-legged, changes when a new miracle comes along," "My dog will never be 'just a dog," and "This is sad to me. My dog is still my baby too."]

28. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late." — Tracey

29. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's mom

30. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." — Dezarae's mom

31. "You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place." — Arizona

32. "If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do!" — Ciara

33. "You start to appreciate Sesame Street for its intellectual contribution." — Anonymous

34. "You have to quit watching the news because you see every story from a mother's perspective and it breaks your heart." — Brooke&Boys

35. "You just plain love life more — everything comes together and becomes better because of one tiny person and your love for them." — Anonymous

36. "You finally find out the real reason you have those breasts." — Anonymous

37. "In response to #2 [above], I'd say that where you were once afraid, you're now fearless. I was always very timid and shy and let myself get walked all over … but now where my kid's concerned, I'll speak my mind and really connect with my inner 'b'!" — gummismom

38. "The support you get from other people surprises you, because the people giving it are not always the ones you'd expect." — japanese_macaque


39. "Nothing is just yours any longer. You share EVERYTHING!" — DylanLsMom

40. "No matter what you've accomplished in life, you look at your child and think, 'I've done a GREAT job!' " — Anonymous

41. "You want to take better care of yourself for your child." — Treasor

42. "You can have the most wonderful conversation using only vowel sounds like 'ahhh' and 'oooo.' " — littlehulk2008


I CAN'T WAIT!

-Anwar

Weekend of Accomplishment

On Friday, I left work a little early to get some final things before my first AIDs Lifecycle Training ride (a tire pump, tire tube, and tire lever). Thank God, I did too. After that, I met up with Fritz (the German MD) for our second date at the Ballet. It was nice to do something that I rarely do. I had an amazing time. I think I like Fritz as a friend, but nothing more than that. After that, I met up with some friends at a bar in Castro. We were having such a good time, I missed my train and Cyncere had to come and pick me up! It was like junior high school, all over again!


The next morning, I woke up early, had a protein shake, packed my new items, and made my way to the meeting place of the training ride. It took me about 20 minutes to figure out how to get my bike in my coupe, but I finally got it in there! Thanks to Carnegie Mellon University for developing my engineering mind. The ride was 40 miles. We started around 930am and I didn’t come back until 1:30pm. The ride was full of hills and downhills. It was actually very relaxing to ride my bike; it allowed my mind to wander and to be just with my thoughts. It reminded me of camping during high school. It was peaceful. The non-peaceful times were when my tire popped during a fast downhill and when my chain got off track during an uphill phase of the ride. Since I rode with the team leaders, I always felt in great hands. Everyone was very helpful in the ride. They even changed my tire for me! I was very touched. It is truly a community. I was truly grateful to have had the experience now versus on the actual ride. After the ride, I had an amazing sense of accomplishment. I would have never thought I would be doing this

After the ride, I went over to my friends Jeff’s house where we watched NCAA March Madness for the rest of the evening. It was nice and relaxing and a great end to a great day. I have been truly humbled this week. After a week I sent my mass email to friends and family, I am halfway to my AIDS Lifecycle fundraising goal. The support has been amazing. I’m the kind of person who rarely asks for help so this experience has been humbling. It has also been helpful in getting me ready for when the twins come. I already know I will NEED to ask for help, help, and more help.

Speaking of the babies, can I just say, I am just so excited that they are coming. I have been slowly telling more and more people as I see them. When I tell them, most everyone is just amazed… BTW I am still amazed! People have been so happy for me, which has been great to feel that love. It is a bit funny. I have noticed that when I tell gay men about this surrogacy journey, they always tell me that they want kids too. I think many men don’t know where to start or how to do it! One of my hopes is that I can serve as an inspiration (through my blog and my story) to those people. I hope all people who want children (gay or straight) are able to have them.

(On my Soap Box)
As the US Supreme Court currently decides on the issue of marriage equality today, I can only hope that law will be on the side of justice!
(Off my Soap Box)

Even though the babies will be coming in September, I have already started high level planning the baby shower with Cyncere and my Mom. They seem to be more enthusiastic about this process than I am. I want something pretty lowkey, but they have all of these ideas/themes/games etc. We will see how everything pans out. To all my friends out there, we are thinking mid-August in the Bay Area and for my family, we will have a viewing party around Thanksgiving in Oxnard. More deets and invitations to come. I am thinking of Baby Registries of Target and Diapers.com? Where have others done theirs?

-Anwar