Wednesday, January 23, 2013

So Much Support!

Last night I continued my dating run. This time I went out with a guy I had been emailing for about two weeks named Emlyn. Interesting name, right? He’s Australian, 28, PhD student of Philosophy and teaches philosophy in St. Quentin Prison in his spare time. Really nice, fun, and funny guy. Gotta love a guy who responds the following way after I tell him I’m running 15 minutes late: “No problem. I have plenty of work to wade through while I wait. I’ll be the preppy-looking douchebag on the Macbook!” Love it. Needless to say, I walked up to him and said… “Douchebag???” That’s what you call breaking the ice….. =)
Cute, eh? Anyway, he paid for my go-to Starbucks drink – Carmel Apple Spice Cider, which was nice. I really enjoyed our conversations about travels, education (in America/Australia/Finland), languages (he’s fluent in Mandarin), pets, histories, mothers, passions, and his odd jobs he has taken as an adult student. We left date having laughed, thought, and expressed. He left the date wanting to walk with my dogs in a park this weekend. I thought this was sweet and nice. Depending on how things go I might invite him out this weekend to hang out with friends. We will see.

After the date, I came home and wanting to relax after my first day back from my Vegas trip. Before I began watching TV, I checked my Facebook and found a friend request from Rhea (the father of two who had given such great advice and energy to my decision to become a (single) father. Below you will find remnants of the touching FB chat I had with him:

Rhea T
• I so enjoyed my time speaking with you this weekend. I know I don't know you very well but I am THRILLED for you. It was fantastic connecting and I can't wait until the next time I see you! Congrats on your win this weekend. Hugs, Rhea Tay

Anwar White
• Girl, I was just telling my sister about our interaction. It was amazing and truly motivated me. Thanks for your energy and joy. It means a lot to me.

Rhea T
• No thanks necessary ... I find you and what you're doing amazing. I'm here for you if ever needed ... sounds a little crazy I know ... but I feel that we, gay fathers and fathers to be, need to help each other process and move forward with our families, keeping it positive for our offspring ... knowing the battles we've fought against our whole life and what we expect our little ones to battle as well ... Unfortunately, I feel, there will always be something or someone detracting ... but perhaps that's a conversation for another time. {tangent}

Anwar White
• Thank you, my sister. I will be hitting you up for sure! I'm not shy, please believe!

Rhea T
• LOL ... Gros bisous!

Rhea brought up a great point that I haven’t thought about(i.e. the challenges or prejudices of being a gay father or even a single father). What will that mean for my children and how will I overcome that and teach my children how to overcome it? All great questions…. questions I am currently thinking about. Beyond that, it was great to have his support and his willingness to put himself out there for a fellow gay father. I can’t wait to meet many more gay fathers. There was a SF Future Gay Dads meeting but I missed it because RC was in town that weekend and I was too tired to go. I promised myself I wouldn’t miss the next one though. BTW, Rhea’s children are bilingual (French and English). They go to a French immersion school (Yes, Mom, I’m not the only person doing this) and also his partner is French. What cracked me up is that his kids are starting to get fresh with him in French. I told Cyncere about this and told her that my children will be doing the same in German and to get ready now.

New update: I have decided to do the Aids Lifecycle. A new friend of mine Kevin, whom I met while hanging out with my bestie Francis, told me he has done the event 9 times and that I could use his bike. How amazing is that! That expense was the major thing that was deterring me from participating. I am so excited. I have made the decision to put basketball on the backburner while I train for this event. Craziness! Warning… my legs and butt are going to be AMAHZING by June! But seriously, I know it will be a life-changing experience.

4 comments:

  1. First off thanks for the comment in my blog. Second the guy your dating does he know your having a child??? If not I would tell him. When I started to talk to curt I did not tell him till our first date. And 7 months later he's still with me loves me and can't wait to meet Isabella. He told me if I hid it from him till later he might have left me because he hates secrets and lies. Tell him if you did not because guys will come and go but your child never will. I'm ok being alone. But I have him now who I love. But congrats

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    1. Thanks for the advice. Congrats to you! You have been my inspiration throughout this process and helped me decide on SCI as a clinic I wanted to do this process with. I saw the video on your blog and it made me cry. How beautiful is your daughter!!! You will be a great daddy!

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  2. I'm excited for you! We will likely be in New Delhi around the same time to pick up babies. I'm wishing you a boring, uneventful, smooth pregnancy!

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    1. Thank you so much, I wish the same for you and your beautiful twinsies! =)

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